Naming one’s kid is often one of the major decisions a parent could take. Throw in two parents, and the number of practical options for names and vetos increase quite exponentially. But sometimes, you meet someone and end up wondering all day how their parents decided on naming them that. You think Vahanavamsininayaki, Zuma Nesta Rock, Viggo Mortensen, Engelbert Humperdinck, Iggy Pop and Nemo are weird? Wait till you see the kids who are going to be what our kids will look at on floating TVs of the future.
I obviously suck at keeping my posts short. So here, I’ve devised a rebus-like quiz for you to while away your time, curse at me and guess the baby names. If you have kids, bring them in too for the fun game.
Naming kids after things is seemingly commonplace today. The beauty of these names is that you can’t really tell why you’re reading this post.
Professions and Halloween Costumes
As if it is not enough that your baby is the child of a celebrity, you give him these names that are as good as having a “KICK ME” sign on his back in school.
Then you have combinations:
|Penn Jillette’s daughter, the poor girl:|
|Jeremy sisto’s daughter:|
|Jason Lee calls his son “Simple, dumb, pilot” after the song|
Naming kids after places seem to be a growing and disturbing trend.
There are those that are named after countries..
|.. and cities…|
|… boroughs of New York City..|
|.. and the state-profession-plant combination that Shooter Jennings and Drea De Matto) came up with:|
Never acceptable, celebrities. Never.
And of course, the combinations-
|Mark Owen and Emma Ferguson’s daughter:|
|Jonathan Ross should not have been surprised his daughter came out:|
This is where you see celebrities toeing the line between fantasy and crazy.
Bears and all things blue
You can never get enough of the cuddly killers and the wonderfully happy color.
Abstract emotions, verbs, noise and stuff you can’t fathom
Some names, I don’t even want to make a rebus out of.
Story Elias, Cash Rich, Sunday Rose, Bluebell Madonna, Heavenly Joy, Daisy True, Audio Science(wait, what?), Tu Morrow(eh?!), Lark Song(err..), Sin Halo, Happy Hinds(this is where you picture a baby’s bottom), Echo, West, Press, Chance, Tabooger, Free, Ikhyd Edgar Arular, and Sage Moonblood(you go, Sylvester Stallone!).
Seven is a holy number indeed
The Beckhams put together all these famous names and named their daughter
…as Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu named their son.
Families that make you question reality
Here are Forest Whitaker’s four children:
Joel Madden and Nicole Richie have two kids:
Jamie Oliver has four children:
Big Boi’s two sons:
Frank Zappa has four children: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. I don’t even know how I can represent those names.
Lil Mo’s two children are called God’Iss Love Stone and Heaven.
Jermaine Jackson’s children are called Jermaine La Jaune, Autumn, Jeremy Maldonado, Jourdynn Michael, Jafaar and, hold your breath, Jermajesty.
Robert Rodriguez has four sons:
Heidi Klum and Seal’s offsprings’ names just roll off your tongue- Leni, Henry Gunther Adeola Dashtu, Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo and Lou Sulola.
Jason Goldberg has two kids:
Paula Yates, the woman with such a simple name, decided to get creative with her daughters too. She has four- Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.
Considering this post has gone on for a bit too long, I think I will stop here. But believe me, I have more material. At the end of this post, I am placing a bet with myself that I will name my first born ‘Alphabet Soup’, my second ‘Sunset Sky’, my third ‘Glowing Face’ and my dog Mitsubishi. In the meanwhile, do tell me what your kids’ names are going to be?